Downsizing Your Home is Hard

Downsizing is a challenge! Many decisions have to be made about what sentimental things to keep and what to give away. My Husband and I made the emotional choice to downsize this year. In August we moved from a 3200 sq ft suburban home to a 1300 sq ft city bungalow.  

Downsizing your Home takes an Emotional Toll

Being a Designer who values building decor around the things we hold dear, our home was the ultimate example of homey beauty. It tastefully exhibited all of our stories through treasures carried and displayed from all of the lives we have lived in various fell-in-love-with locations.   This was the end of an era for me. At our age, downsizing is downsizing, you can’t take it with you. It’s hard. I felt like I was breaking up from a serious relationship. I painstakingly had to choose the few most special and memorable items that would work in our new little bungalow, and either give the rest to our grown children, or watch it be sold in an estate sale.  

Once the furniture had been cleared out, I approached my favorite French chandelier that still hung in the breakfast room above what had been a Vanderbilt estate foyer table.  I touched it, held it, gazed in longing at it, and a voice said to my soul, “This is idolatry.”   Whoa.  I understood why I had to go through this.

It was a merciful confrontation that enabled me to see the actual value of the things I was losing, and put them in their proper perspective, making it easier to let go.  

So how did we practically do this and how can our experience help you?  

My general principle in decor for myself and my clients is to preserve the beloved pieces we already have, to create a beautiful and healing aesthetic, and this is no different.  

Start with a space plan

Obtain floor plans of your new place.  If you don’t have them, take room measurements and sketch or make a space plan for each room on the computer. Edraw is a great tool for beginners. If you’re overwhelmed, don’t worry we’ve got you covered, just reach out to us if you need help.  

Measure positions of windows and doors and sketch them in to properly assess free wall space where furniture pieces could land.

Measure your furnishings to see what will fit and sketch them into position on the page.  

Make sure you have a minimum 17” between the coffee table edges and seating. Give 32-36” wide space for pass throughs if possible.  

Choose the large pieces first.

I kept the furniture that fell into one of 2 categories: Newest and Most Loved. For example, I had to choose between a favorite large comfy chair that I enjoyed my coffee in every morning, or two smaller arm chairs.  I chose my Papa bear chair because I loved it the most, even though it wasn’t the practical choice for providing adequate seating for visitors. I decided that I am living there, not my visitors.    

If you have keepsake furnishings that don’t match and need to be used in one room, tie them together with a new colorful rug or piece of art that picks up the different hues.  A modern piece of art is often the perfect statement for tying together different colors and styles.  

Mixing Contemporary and Traditional Styles

Choosing Accessories

You may have only a couple of surfaces for displaying treasures, and don’t forget, the mail has to be stacked somewhere. Choose your most cherished couple of pieces for your coffee table, console table, or dresser. Consider hanging only your latest and best family photos in a condensed wall collage rather than standing them on a surface. Or make a Shutterfly photo book to stack on your coffee table instead. Keep other tier-one specials in the family and retain the right to have them back if you have space for them later.  

Create unique pieces from sentimental items

For example, I have a friend who made leather coasters from the worn leather sofa she raised her boys on, another who created mosaic urns from chards of old dishes.  

How to create unique pieces from sentimental items.

Incorporate new pieces

You will undoubtedly need a couple of new furnishing solutions for your new space. Finding new pieces to retrofit into a design that is an amalgamation of pieces from a larger storied lifestyle is often a tall order.  

I finished the space plan for the bungalow and creatively mapped out how I could use the remaining pieces of furnishings and accessories I had lovingly preserved.  

But I had a dilemma: neither of my dining tables would fit and the holidays were just around the corner.  

I began my search for one that would fit the tiny eating area.  It was important to me to complete an aesthetic of beauty and cohesion for our mental wellbeing, especially after the heart-wrenching experience of downsizing. In small spaces, one piece can represent success or failure in this endeavor. That table had to be perfect! So I thought…

How to Downsize after Living in your Home for Decades

Last Saturday, out of the blue, our children paid us a surprise visit.  They came home to celebrate their Dad’s last round of chemo, a good reason to carry out a master plan I could never have seen coming.  They insisted on cooking us dinner and I reluctantly agreed, teaching them to navigate the tiny kitchen, and pulling things out for them to use.  I enjoyed my glass of wine and stayed on hand while they entertained me with their cooking.  But then we were promptly sent upstairs and told not to come down until called.  We complied with no idea of what was about to take place.  

This was their first visit to our newly downsized home, a 1300 sq ft bungalow with barely room for a table for two, and I wasn’t prepared to host them.  

When we were called down my eyes were met with a sight that dug down to the deepest part of my heart, an unexpected solution to my dilemma.  It was a card table fully set with white tablecloth, poured wine, a candle and four folding chairs.  It fit exactly in the barely adequate amount of space we had between the kitchen and living area.  I melted.  God knew my Mother’s heart and the need we have as women and mothers to provide and prepare a special table for our families.  It was important for me to believe I could do this in spite of our circumstances and before Thanksgiving.  

I beheld a different kind of beauty that evening:  The light in my Daughter’s eyes as she beamed over the brilliance of her idea, the deep satisfaction in having made her Mother shed tears;  the grateful countenance of my Husband as he felt celebrated on this occasion;  The jewel red tone of the wine all aglow from the center candle;  The crazing patterns on the worn dishes;  The pride in the posture of my Son as he looked at me with love for having solved my desire to provide a place for our family.  

People say it’s not about the stuff.  It’s all about being together.  But until you are sitting around a humble card table prepared with love, you don’t really understand that.  Everything truly important was distilled in that little card table.  

I am passionate about telling your stories through beautiful things.  But I wouldn’t trade that card table for my Mother’s Vintage Henredon and the finery of all the Thanksgiving tables in the world.  

Remember, Thanksgiving is not about the centerpiece, the china, or even the gratitude lists by rote. As much as I love and value photo-worthy tablescapes and gourmet cuisine, it is not about that.  Thanksgiving is humbleness in its purest form.  It is trading all of our preoccupations with material blessings for the supernatural experiences of love, the communal celebration of the spiritual blessings we are given that transcend all things material and delicate.  I pray this story will give you the shift of focus to prepare a most meaningful table this year.  Go ahead, employ your hands into creating that gorgeous tablescape, but pour your heart into the people sitting around it. Bring and experience both kinds of beauty to your table this year.  Happy Thanksgiving!

At Liz Gabriel Interiors LLC we pride ourselves in taking the things you love the most and using them to create a tailor made aesthetic that reflects you and your unique journey.  If you are struggling to envision how you can create beauty and sentiment in a downsized space, reach out to us and we can certainly help. Liz